Will I Ever Make Money as a Comedian?
Ah, the age-old question that haunts every open micer as they sip their two-drink minimum: Will I ever make money doing this? Short answer? Yes. Longer, more honest answer? Yes, but probably not how you think.
Let’s break it down.
1. At First, You Pay to Play
When you start out, you’re not making money — you’re spending it. Gas. Tolls. Cover charges. Comedy classes you swore you didn’t need but somehow ended up Venmoing $300 for anyway. And let’s not forget the emotional price of bombing in front of three drunk strangers and a bartender who’s seen things.
This phase is called “the unpaid internship from hell.” Welcome.
2. Then You Make Beer Money
You start getting “booked” on shows — and by booked, I mean someone pays you in drink tickets and an old burrito. If you’re lucky, it’s warm. If you’re really lucky, it’s yours.
You might make $20 here, $50 there, enough to cover gas and feel like a rock star at a Denny’s afterward. This is also when your family starts asking, “So… what’s your backup plan?”
3. The $100 Sweet Spot
Once you’ve got a tight 20 minutes, you’re in the zone. Hosting gigs. College shows. Corporate gigs if you’re clean and can make Brenda from HR laugh without getting sued. You’re making money, baby!
But it’s still hustle money. You’re constantly grinding. You’ve got 12 side gigs. You’ve got spreadsheets. You’ve got Venmo receipts with more emotion than your last relationship.
4. The Real Money Comes With Leverage
Here’s the truth no one tells you: the money isn’t just in the mic. It’s in what the mic leads to. Touring, TV, writing gigs, acting, podcasting, merch, Patreon, brand deals. Comedy is the gateway drug to a portfolio career — if you play your cards right.
And guess what? You don’t have to be famous to make a living. You just need a following, a niche, and enough discipline to treat this like a business instead of a hobby that happens in bars.
5. So… Will You Make Money?
Yes — if you:
Write constantly
Perform consistently
Evolve relentlessly
And network without being a weirdo about it
The punchlines pay off, but it takes time. Money follows momentum. So keep going. Hone your craft. Bomb gloriously. Kill joyfully. And remember: if you’re doing what you love, you’re already richer than most.
And hey — if all else fails, there’s always OnlyFans.
Kidding. (Mostly.)
— ANT 🖤🎤
