So you wanna be a Stand-Up Comic? Here’s how to start without embarrassing your whole family.

Look at you. Sitting there, reading a blog post written by a fabulous gay man with cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass, wondering if you’ve got what it takes to do stand-up comedy. First of all—good taste. Second—maybe.

But before you rent a sequin jacket and start referring to your living room as “the green room,” let me walk you through how to actually get started in stand-up without face-planting harder than your Aunt Karen after three rosés and a SoulCycle class.

1. Write Terrible Jokes. Then Write Slightly Less Terrible Ones.

If your first jokes are amazing, congratulations—you’re lying. Comedy writing is like dating in your 20s: mostly tragic with occasional glimpses of potential. Start writing down ideas, punchlines, weird things your relatives say, and moments that made you laugh inappropriately at funerals. Comedy lives in truth, pain, and really awkward situations.

2. Go to Open Mics. Yes, They’re Gross. Do It Anyway.

Open mics are where you’ll meet every kind of comic—from the seasoned pro to the guy who thinks “women be shopping” is a revolutionary concept. Sign up. Get on stage. Bomb. Survive. Then do it again. Stand-up isn’t learned in a classroom—it’s learned in the back of a pizza parlor at midnight while a drunk guy in cargo shorts heckles you about your haircut.

3. Record Your Sets. Even the Cringey Ones.

You’ll hate listening to your voice. You’ll cringe at your timing. You’ll hear yourself say “like” 47 times in one minute. Good. That’s how you get better. Watch your sets like you’re editing someone else’s work—and then fix it. Comedy is writing, rewriting, and pretending you weren’t just talking to five people and a dishwasher.

4. Steal Like an Artist—But Not Really.

Be inspired by your comedy idols, but don’t copy them. Don’t be “the next Dave Chappelle” or “a female George Carlin” (whatever that even means). Be the first YOU. That’s where your power is. If you’re weird—lean into it. If you’re loud—own it. If you’re a recovering addict turned stand-up comic with a biting sense of humor and a love of sparkly accessories… well, honey, there’s already one of me. Be something new.

5. Keep Going—Even When It Sucks (Especially Then).

You will bomb. You will be ignored. You will get bumped off a lineup by a dude with one TikTok follower and a podcast called “Dudes Be Talkin’.” Keep going anyway. This business rewards persistence, delusion, and a touch of psychosis. If you love it, do it. If you don’t—go be a dentist. They have health insurance.

Final Thoughts From Your Comedy Auntie:

Stand-up is brutal. And beautiful. And unglamorous. And addictive. But if the idea of getting on stage and making strangers laugh gives you butterflies instead of hives—then baby, grab that mic and get to work. It’s a long road, but damn, it’s worth it.

Now go write a joke. And please… don’t start it with “So I was on Tinder…”

Love,

ANT