What to Do When the Mic Goes Cold: Side Hustles for Comics Who Still Like to Eat

Look, let’s be honest. Stand-up comedy is like dating in LA—hot one minute, ghosting you the next. One day you’re killing at a club, the next you’re killing time refreshing your inbox waiting for a reply that never comes. We’ve all had those “did I really drive four hours for a drink ticket?” kind of weeks. And while ramen is nostalgic, it’s not a retirement plan.

So what’s a quick-witted, stage-starved comic to do when the gigs dry up and the landlord doesn’t accept “exposure” as payment?

Glad you asked. Here's my guide to side hustles for comics who want to survive the slow seasons without selling their soul or their self-respect.

1. Emcee Anything (and I mean anything)

Weddings, bar mitzvahs, corporate mixers, dog birthday parties—if there’s a mic, there’s a check. You already know how to work a crowd. Add a couple of clean jokes and some crowd work about Aunt Linda’s sequins and bam, you’re the star of the Marriott Ballroom.

Pro tip: Always ask about the cake. If there’s no cake, it’s not worth it.

2. Voiceover Work

Got a decent mic and the ability to sound enthusiastic about cat litter or probiotics? You, my friend, are already halfway to becoming the voice of a product you’d never buy. There's a whole world of commercials, eLearning, animated explainer videos, and AI voice training just begging for someone who can pronounce “acetaminophen” confidently.

Bonus: No pants required.

3. Teach What You Know

Comedy classes, storytelling workshops, improv for businesspeople who wear fleece vests—teach the funny. People love the idea of being funnier, and you already know the craft. Share your wisdom, make a buck, and remember: teaching can be healing. Especially if you charge up front.

4. Write (but, like, for Money)

Punch up someone’s screenplay. Submit jokes to late-night packets. Write roast speeches for people getting married or being honored at charity dinners. Hell, you can even ghostwrite dating app bios (I’ve done it, and yes, they got matched).

Remember: Words pay better when they don’t come with a two-drink minimum.

5. Audience Warm-Up

It's not glamorous, but it is a check with your name on it and a free granola bar in the green room. TV tapings need someone to keep the audience clapping like trained seals, and if anyone knows how to keep the energy up between takes, it’s a comic.

6. Be a Game Show Contestant

No joke. There are comics out there paying rent with “Wheel of Fortune” winnings. You’ve got stage presence, charisma, and if you can pretend to care about crossword puzzles for 22 minutes, you’re golden.

7. Pet Sitting, But With Punchlines

Dog-walking apps are full of people who don’t talk to their animals. You? You’ll be monologuing to that Labradoodle like it's your audience. And guess what? They never heckle. Plus, being paid to nap on someone else’s couch while their pug snores beside you? Living. The. Dream.

Remember: You’re Still a Comic

No matter what you’re doing to keep the lights on—whether it’s slinging lattes or writing TikTok captions for influencers named “Brody”—you’re still a comic. These side hustles are just the filler episode. The special’s still coming. So stack that cash, sharpen those jokes, and keep your eyes on the mic.

Because when the lights go up again, honey, you better be ready to sparkle.

Want to hear more about weird gigs and side hustles that didn’t go according to plan? Let me know—I’ve got stories.

Love,

ANT